Thanksgiving expectations

When discussing Thanksgiving dinner preparation with a friend, I found her to be a bit sulky. She was having to make a family dinner with everyone's favorite dish. Everyone's. All of the dishes. She was wanting to skip one or two because there would be just seven of them for the meal, five adults and two children. She could get by with less, but there would be hell to pay.

I just shook my head. Tsk, tsk, I told her. You did this to yourself by giving your family Thanksgiving expectations. You wanted tradition. You excelled in it. You're a fabulous cook. Now look where it's gotten you: bound by it, hoisted by your own tradition-petard.

But as I tallied up what we will be having, she probably felt a bit sorry for my family. They have no turkey expectations because I rarely made the same thing twice.

Some Thanksgiving Days found it to be just the four of us, so I'd serve the smaller bird: a goose or duck, maybe a pheasant if the spouse had been on a successful expedition. I was NEVER good at dressing--my cornbread is only slightly better than what you make from a mix, as it at least will not have a teaspoon of sugar in it--and always preferred rice over potatoes. Sweet potatoes are anathema around here and I had to have my mother make any gravy we ate because, well, I'm not good at that either. And as Mother has been deceased for eleven years, there's no gravy around here. I do relent on dessert. Always pecan pie--and whatever else strikes my fancy.

So Thanksgiving, and by default Christmas where I introduced the idea of pork tenderloin into the mix, is not tradition-bound in our household. I have evolved over the years to being able to brine a turkey and have everyone scurrying back for seconds and there's a green bean and bacon combo which is eaten right up. I make superlative yeast rolls, but you need a crowd for the recipe. Other than that, it's a movable feast, moving from recipe book to internet to cooking show.

Do I mind not being bound by tradition for Thanksgiving dinner? Oh, please. Does my family mind? I could ask, but since I might not like the answer, I won't. Anyway, they have their own households now and can start their own traditions.

And invite me.